im goin to break.


breakaway fr my disgusting atrocious life tht im livin in ata moment. need a fresh start. going to view evtg in a bright new light! gna be super optimistic n ultra disciplined. gna be a much better person. cannot slack! even if i die trying to accomplish all the above! need a role model. actually i tink chris fits tis role v well! he knows how to prioritise.. how to balance his work n play.. he is discplined yet exceedingly retarded ata same time. haha the best part is.. like me.. our world is a stage! all those reading tis now.. pls help me and scold me .. motivate me to be more studious!! i hfta win xiaoyudian in our nerd comp!! n im alr losing like 100-1. ughh! ahha.. i feel sooooooooo deprived of a proper social life ata moment. i need town.. i need to havoc .. i need to gamble.. i need to just let go and go crazyyyy!!! thts just wat i need. i need to hang out with my girls.. so we'll all go mad n bimby tgt!! i need a wild party!! i need kbox so i can sing n scream all i want!! i need a holiday!! to get far away fr all of tis crap! how i wish i was still in tioman.. or sibu.. well at least ill be gg melbourne ata end of e yr! (: (: the only sad ting is tt my stupid kc wont be der.. she will be in hk! how sad is tt. i tot we cld havoc over der with my sis! -sad- oh well...!!! ahhaa.. at least i got chow n all my blk B neighbours (esp lindaaa) to go mad with for now! ahhaa.. ah well. the weirdest tings haf been happening lately.. i tink so far only chris n yuying knw abt it.. its just odd. i mean. i was inta past. but im not now. its weird to go back. i cant! its quite disgusting. i cant even bear to tink of it! its just plain weird. why do pple treat others so fucking _ _ _ _ !!! i cant stand it! ewwwwww! JUST STOP IT!

xiaoyudian ----> cheer up u silly rain drop! ahhaa..i still dun dare to drink the white tea!!! -FAINTS-
chow char ser cheri ------> KBOX N TOWN NOWWWWW!!!
evelyn ---------> dun keep ponnin lessons lor u twit! lets work hard tgt!
everyone ------> does anyone knw where to get a nice leather shoulder bag!!?!?! -pulls hair desperately-

its 2 am.. and i am just staring into the comp and stoning. many thoughts running thru my head but i cant seem to be able to get a hold of each individual thought and analyze or even ponder over it. everything is happening and moving so fast. i feel so outta control of everything i do. my oh so routined life is starting to tk a turn for the worse..!! somebody grab a hold of me and wake me up fr this living nightmare im in..!!! been slacking the whole of last wk aft da econs exams n i cant seem to get back (if i was ever in it) to the studying mode! i got a language of language exam next fri n im sooooooo dead!! even chris is worried.. i shd be panicking!! but somehow i feel so numb. there seems to be this void in my heart that refuses to leave. i haf no idea why it reappeared again. the last time i had it was.. hmm.. a very long time ago.. during the gd ol sn days. there hasnt been any unhappy/tragic/annoying recent event tht cld explain it either! odd. i guess im just going thru a phase in life where u keep reminiscing and dwelling in the past or inta slums of the current. yikes! recently ive been pulled into two peoples lives.. its rather interesting cz me n two other girls have been hafg very very interesting and astonishing talks abt these two pple.. and the best ting is.. we get both sides of the story along with it! nonono we're not bitching.. we're just acting like over-concerned parents who wna mk sure eyr children are fine n taken care of. ahhaa. altho the most we can do is be silent observers (since we're obviously not spse to knw too much abt it or even at all). its amazing wat some pple go thru for love or wat ey tink is love and wat some others dont. i've learnt to view pple thru many angles (bad/gd) and not be so rigid or discriminative of my views on others. its always best to tk a step back and look at life and the pple tt revolve ard urs. once again our observation on these 2 pple haf proven tht love is blind.. it hurts.. and tht there are an infinite number of sides to each episode n each to varying degrees. to the girl onta receiving end of this rather painful episode.. i am extremely proud of how positive u are on ya outlook of life despite the seemingly numerous obstacles or pits cast ur way. you are truly brave and wise and im just thkful u are okay. to the guy.. i hope u knw wat ure losing n i hope ure making the right decision. n i definitely hope u werent just playing with her heart cz then it wld totally err our thoughts/views on ya.. well lets just say noone likes players and noone likes to be played. to the 2 parenteers!! u guys are the funniest larh! ahah. glad we've gotten closer thru our various 'gossip' sessions!! (: guess i shd learn fr her.. be positive and start doin sth abt my slummy crummy life eh? (: